I am
accustom to flying. I fly for business and pleasure. I have never had as many
issues as we have had with flying to and from Latvia. We have been trying
to find flights that were close to $1200 a person. We were finding $1500 to
$2200. Someone from our church told us about flying out of Canada. I know
that is not ideal but last night they posted flights for $1100 a person. We
jumped all over it. I was feeling really good about it until this morning. We
received a call from Expedia this morning. They listed the price incorrect and
wanted another $1,500!!! I started off talking to them but due to my job I
could not continue. Jeff talked to them for hours and finally they caved. They
kept saying we did not put in the kids birth dates. Which anyone that booked
any airline ticket knows you can’t even get to the page to pay without that
information loaded on the screen. So they were just flat out telling us lies.
They had already cancelled our flights and had to book us all new ones. The
outgoing was fine but the flight home will be tough. It is about a 5 hour drive
to the airport in Canada and we now land around 7pm. Our kids will be a mess
for days. I can’t wait until all the adoption paperwork, fees, and travel are
over. I normally stay calm but this started to put me on the edge.
The kids
are adjusting and feeling more comfortable however, they sometimes act out
trying to tell us a message. The message sometimes is really deep and the
action is repeated several times before we finally get the message. For
example, Hunter for a while would get upset when we talk about him growing or
if we made a comment like “Wow you are getting big.” I honestly had no idea
until finally I put some pieces together. In their foster place when they got
big they moved to another fostercare or an orphanage. He feels if he gets too
big he will have to move to the next home. I started telling him he can
grow as big as Daddy and he will always be with us. It is starting to calm him
down but it may takes a few times to explain this. Hunter also hates everything
with going to school this fall. In Latvia he went to a boarding school. Luckily
during one of his crying melt downs over school I got him calm enough to
explain that he will always come home to sleep and will not be sleeping at
school. He actually stopped crying, hug me, and went to bed. Another
example, Spencer has been digging in our trash a lot and we keep yelling at
him. This has been going on since we got him. Finally on July 3rd,
he told me that in Latvia he would go to trash pull food out, hide by the cars
and eat. Also, that one time he found cake and it was good. He told me
several stories. After he went to go play, I had to go cry in the bathroom. So
every time he goes to the trash I pull out a snack and have him say “Mommy I am
hungry.” Also, with Spencer after 5 min time in, he would sit and whine or
pout. One day last week after 5min time in I was calming down Hunter and I
started doing “I love you when you are mad.” “I love you when you are happy.”
“I love you when you are good.” “I love you when you act bad.” Spencer walked
over to me and asked “Even during 5 minute time in?” I answered yes. His
next 5 minute time in after it was done he went to play no whining or crying or
self-hitting, nothing.
Elliana is
the one that I have not figured the puzzle pieces out yet. We got into the
biggest argument we have had last Sunday a few hours before church. She
wanted to get into an argument. I could tell it had nothing to do with the
actual thing. E “I want to wear a dress.” Me “Then pick one of your dresses
out.” E “ I want to wear a dress.” Me “Yes you can wear one.” E “I want to wear
a dress.” Me “Yes you are a young lady you can wear a dress.” E “ I don’t
want to be a lady.” Me “You are a girl you will end up being a lady one day.” E
“I want to wear a dress and no lady.” Me “ Go pick out a dress and don’t worry
about being a lady be my sweet little girl.” E” I want to wear a dress.” Me
“What is wrong and what do you need.” E “I want to wear a dress.” It went
one for hours during my entire laundry. She stood outside my shower to continue
this. Then while I dressed. Finally I lost it. I did not yell but I said
“Elliana please go away if all you want to do with argue about nothing.” She
replied “I hate America and I hate it here.” She screamed and yelled went to
her room. Jeff came running to see what was going on. This went on for about an
hour. I tagged out with Jeff and he handled Elliana and I took the boys. We
arrive at church on time which was amazing. After church service she comes to
me and said “Mommy you got mad at me.” I told her I don’t know why she wanted
to argue and be mean this morning. If something is wrong you need to tell Mommy
what the issue is so I can fix it. She hugged me and said I love you Mom and I
am sorry. I felt so much better after that little conversation. I know she did
not mean her comments about America but I don’t know why we even had this
argument. I wondered if she was testing me to see how much I love her? If
someone else knows maybe why please let me know.
We are
still trying to work on the kids with playing. Elliana and Spencer both will
not play with other kids. They will play near them but never actually with the
other kids. Hunter still has to be introduced but then he will play. He is a
little rough with his hands and we are working on that. We love these kids but
we do have to remember they have a past that created their since of logic,
reasoning, and behaviors. The behaviors we don’t like we need to adjust but it
will take time. It takes 21 times of doing something a new way before you start
to create the behavior change. That statistic is for adults. I can’t imagine
how many times a kid needs to do it. We are trying to give everything to these
kids. I know it is hard with working full time. Sometimes work takes so much
out, and when I get home I just want to relax but I still find strength
down deep to give more to my kids.
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