Thursday, July 16, 2015

Airlines!! / Deep meaning

I am accustom to flying. I fly for business and pleasure. I have never had as many issues as we have had with flying to and from Latvia.  We have been trying to find flights that were close to $1200 a person. We were finding $1500 to $2200.  Someone from our church told us about flying out of Canada. I know that is not ideal but last night they posted flights for $1100 a person. We jumped all over it. I was feeling really good about it until this morning. We received a call from Expedia this morning. They listed the price incorrect and wanted another $1,500!!! I started off talking to them but due to my job I could not continue. Jeff talked to them for hours and finally they caved. They kept saying we did not put in the kids birth dates. Which anyone that booked any airline ticket knows you can’t even get to the page to pay without that information loaded on the screen. So they were just flat out telling us lies. They had already cancelled our flights and had to book us all new ones. The outgoing was fine but the flight home will be tough. It is about a 5 hour drive to the airport in Canada and we now land around 7pm. Our kids will be a mess for days. I can’t wait until all the adoption paperwork, fees, and travel are over. I normally stay calm but this started to put me on the edge.


The kids are adjusting and feeling more comfortable however, they sometimes act out trying to tell us a message. The message sometimes is really deep and the action is repeated several times before we finally get the message.  For example, Hunter for a while would get upset when we talk about him growing or if we made a comment like “Wow you are getting big.” I honestly had no idea until finally I put some pieces together. In their foster place when they got big they moved to another fostercare or an orphanage. He feels if he gets too big he will have to move to the next home.  I started telling him he can grow as big as Daddy and he will always be with us. It is starting to calm him down but it may takes a few times to explain this. Hunter also hates everything with going to school this fall. In Latvia he went to a boarding school. Luckily during one of his crying melt downs over school I got him calm enough to explain that he will always come home to sleep and will not be sleeping at school. He actually stopped crying, hug me, and went to bed.  Another example, Spencer has been digging in our trash a lot and we keep yelling at him. This has been going on since we got him. Finally on July 3rd, he told me that in Latvia he would go to trash pull food out, hide by the cars and eat.  Also, that one time he found cake and it was good. He told me several stories. After he went to go play, I had to go cry in the bathroom. So every time he goes to the trash I pull out a snack and have him say “Mommy I am hungry.” Also, with Spencer after 5 min time in, he would sit and whine or pout. One day last week after 5min time in I was calming down Hunter and I started doing “I love you when you are mad.” “I love you when you are happy.” “I love you when you are good.” “I love you when you act bad.” Spencer walked over to me and asked “Even during 5 minute time in?”  I answered yes. His next 5 minute time in after it was done he went to play no whining or crying or self-hitting, nothing.


Elliana is the one that I have not figured the puzzle pieces out yet. We got into the biggest argument we have had last Sunday a few hours before church.  She wanted to get into an argument. I could tell it had nothing to do with the actual thing. E “I want to wear a dress.” Me “Then pick one of your dresses out.” E “ I want to wear a dress.” Me “Yes you can wear one.” E “I want to wear a dress.” Me “Yes you are a young lady you can wear a dress.”  E “ I don’t want to be a lady.” Me “You are a girl you will end up being a lady one day.” E “I want to wear a dress and no lady.” Me “ Go pick out a dress and don’t worry about being a lady be my sweet little girl.” E” I want to wear a dress.” Me “What is wrong and what do you need.”  E “I want to wear a dress.” It went one for hours during my entire laundry. She stood outside my shower to continue this.  Then while I dressed. Finally I lost it. I did not yell but I said “Elliana please go away if all you want to do with argue about nothing.” She replied “I hate America and I hate it here.” She screamed and yelled went to her room. Jeff came running to see what was going on. This went on for about an hour. I tagged out with Jeff and he handled Elliana and I took the boys. We arrive at church on time which was amazing. After church service she comes to me and said “Mommy you got mad at me.” I told her I don’t know why she wanted to argue and be mean this morning. If something is wrong you need to tell Mommy what the issue is so I can fix it. She hugged me and said I love you Mom and I am sorry. I felt so much better after that little conversation. I know she did not mean her comments about America but I don’t know why we even had this argument. I wondered if she was testing me to see how much I love her? If someone else knows maybe why please let me know.


We are still trying to work on the kids with playing. Elliana and Spencer both will not play with other kids. They will play near them but never actually with the other kids. Hunter still has to be introduced but then he will play. He is a little rough with his hands and we are working on that. We love these kids but we do have to remember they have a past that created their since of logic, reasoning, and behaviors. The behaviors we don’t like we need to adjust but it will take time. It takes 21 times of doing something a new way before you start to create the behavior change. That statistic is for adults. I can’t imagine how many times a kid needs to do it. We are trying to give everything to these kids. I know it is hard with working full time. Sometimes work takes so much out,  and when I get home I just want to relax but I still find strength down deep to give more to my kids.

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