Home

We had to wake the kids up around 2:30 am. The kids jump right out of bed with no issues. We arrived at the airport three hours early just in case there was an problem due to our kids passports not matching the plane tickets. I have heard this has caused other families to have some issues. When we walk up to the counter I noticed right away that the person was the same one that handled our issues on trip one.  She actually remember us. I was not sure if that was good or bad. The problem was 6 months ago and she see millions of people and yet she remembers me. So she just stamped our stuff and said we all have seats. I thanked her and was glad to be moving on to security check point. I know I was upset and crying at some points. I never did my "business voice" with her but she did hear me talking to United that way. Yikes!

Our first flight was very short, only 2 hours or so. Once in Germany we had to check in again. It really was not a big deal we maybe took 15 minutes total. I decided i needed some humor so when the German custom guy asked if we had anything to declare I said "Well we just spent $50,000 on three kids do we need to claim that?"  He laughed it off and then checked the pass ports and realized that we were adopting and started laughing at us saying he thought we were just kidding around with him. 

We get on the big plane for the long flight. Everything went most uneventful besides Spencer got locked in the bathroom this time! He freaked out. Screaming on the top of his lungs. People came running. I had to talk him into opening it. At first he just wanted to curl up in the corner to calm himself down but in the end he wanted me to hold him and calm him down. I kept saying "Mommy is here and all will be good." He is starting to come to us when he hurt or scared. It will take more time of proving to him over and over again that we are there and we will protect him. After that issue I had to hold the door wide open for him to use the bathroom. I blocked the door so no one could see in.

We finally land in Toronto, Canada.  We had no troubles going through customs, just showed them the adoption paperwork.  We jumped back into our car and started the 5 hour drive back home, the kids immediately crashed. We get to the US Boarder after two hours. I was very nervous about this. Our agency, support groups, Latvian Lawyer and the US Embassy have never heard of anyone from the US driving to Canada to fly to Latvia.  The reason being that we have to give a huge stack of sealed documents to the US customs agent and that individual would place a special stamp on each of the kids passports which basically stated the kids were now US citizens.  Everyone does this when they land at the US airports but since we were not landing at a US airport no one could tell us the proceedure.  

We go to the first boarder guard and tell him we need to see a immigration officer. So they flagged our car and pulled us over and we had to wait in the room. It was around 8:15 when we were flagged. We waited in the room for 30 minutes and our name was called. The lady was very nice and excited for the adoption. She took the giant package that we had to keep enclosed. We sat back down and talk to a few other people around us. The kids were passed out and very tired. She called us back up and said it was all done. I did ask her if they do this often and she said it was not as common as in the airports but they do a fair amount of these.  I plan on passing that message on to other people adopting as well. The total amount of time was one hour and 20 minutes.  So at the end of the process she placed the special stamp on each of their passports.  They are Americans!!! We told them and Jeff and I were clapping and dancing. The kids just stared at us and Hunter asked for his bed. HA.

We finally get home around 1:30am. We open the garage door and someone that was watching our house locked the door to our house from the garage. We did not bring our keys so we ran around the house hoping we missed locking a window. We were lucky somehow we did miss the skinny bay side window. It was small and a really tight fit but thankfully one of us fit through. We get the kids in and immediately Jeff and I noticed a change in the kids. The kids have been freaking out about this trip to Latvia. Honestly it has been horrible leading up to it. Even when we were over there the kids were freaking out all the time. Yes you can see random shot where they were smiling but there is a lot of time between those picture that were really tough. We kept reminding ourselves that the kids are scared and that their acting out behavior was probably due to a combination of them being scared, not on a normal routine and lack of sleep as none of the kids slept very well at all.  

The next day we are home the kids were tired but again they were back to normal, a little cranky but normal. Elliana did not have any more nightmares. Spencer has not had a single tantrum in two days, of being home!! Hunter is not clinging to me like before. That trip scared them more then I think it even did. Today is day two home and Spencer stress bumps are going down even more.

These kids mean everything to us. This adoption journey took us over 3 years total. Before that we did try for kids and were never successful. In the end God put us with the kids we were meant to have. They were born to another mother and then put in a place where they were not given the kind of love they needed. Before I was matched up with our kids, I used to at night wonder if our kids were wishing for a family, or if someone tucked them in for bed, or if they were given hugs, kiss and told how special they were.  I now know the answer to those questions and it breaks my heart. I can't fix their past. I can only help them heal from it and have as best of a future as possible. They are home. Home where they have food, shelter, love, hugs, kisses, and family. It is our families fairy tale ending.

I may randomly continue to blog. There is a spot on the right side where you can put in your email address and it will email you when I update again. Our adoption paperwork is not 100% completed, we just have the follow up citizen paperwork like SSM cards etc..and the two post adoption reports due one year from July and the second one the following year.  Thank you to everyone who made this happen. I can't express in words what the support means to us.

How things change

Since we already had our final documents we had today free. Jeff and I talked about different possibilities. We decided to go to central market in Riga and feeding the ducks in the park. We wanted a low key day because tomorrow we fly home very early.

While we were walking to meet up with another family on trip three to feed the ducks, we talked about each of our kids and how they have changed. I can't get over the changes each of them have done in just 6 months. We picked them up on 2-17-2015 and it is 8-13-2015 today.

Elliana when we got her could hardly walk to the park just 5.5 blocks away. Today she walked to central market which is over 2 miles away. No she is not perfect but her feet don't turn in as much as when we picked her up. She feet are also half the size they used to be. She is also building muscle we have a ways to go but is far better then where we started. Today in the park we did wheelbarrows. It was a great way to get her to build her left arm strength up. Additionally, her personality has not changed but it is starting to come more to the surface. Prior, she was pretending to be someone she was not. I don't believe she was acting that way purposefully but rather her prior environment was forcing her to be someone she did not want to be. Elliana is a very caring person. If you get in a argument with her, later she will want to make sure you are happy and apologize. She cares about animals and people. She is very kind and sweet.

Spencer is the one Grandpa Holub even says has changed the most. He is our most emotionally detach child. He has suffered the most rejection and I don't believe ever had a good bond with anyone. We have been following "The connected Child" by Kelly Purvis method with him and it has really worked. I know it helps a lot that we did not method from day one. It is not a easy method for the parents but it is most successful one of the child. Highly recommend it with biological or adopted children that have emotional issues. Spencer now does trust that we will meet his needs in our normal daily routine. This trip three has shatter some of what we have build. He does not like change of the routine. He counts on it and trusts it. We timeline his entire day and go over it often with him to avoid quick transitions or unknown activities/events. He will randomly come up to me and tell me the routine. He has been opening up more about what he remembers from being in Latvia. I encourage it because he needs to talk about it in order to heal. Yes at first I had a ping of jealous when they talked about their Latvian Mom but he has to in order to move on. Now we talk freely and I ask questions about his stories. I want him to know he can tell me anything that is on his mind.  I look forwards to our next step together in this healing process.

Hunter physically changed the most. When we got him he was just a little pudgy boy. It did not take long of playing on the playground and just running around to turn that baby fat into muscle. He is the fastest and strongest of the three. He is definitely the most strong willed at times. I sometimes smile because he reminds me of myself. When we first got him he acted about 2 years old now he acts like most 5 year old's maybe 4 year old every now and then. He is starting to problem solve on his own which is great. We encourage them to be more self sufficient as in cutting up their own food, filling their own glass of water, putting away toys, picking out clothes to wear, and starting to wash themselves. Our goal for all three is to have them become good healthy and happy adults so that is what we are teaching them, life skills for their age.

OK, back to today, we meet with with a mother and her adopted son and feed the ducks. The kids really enjoyed spending the day together. They played around like kids, rolling down the hill, chasing each other, wheel barrow rides, hand stands, and summer-salts.  So much for wanting to take nice pictures....When they had to leave for their Embassy appointment we walked over to the central market. This is a giant four building indoor and outdoor place where you can buy anything. It is used mainly by locals for food and clothes. Yes you can buy trinkets and some souvenirs but really it is food. It reminded me of our Westside Market in Cleveland just five times bigger. We did not buy anything just walked around. Had our kids been able to walk that far on trip one we could have tried different local foods. The bread makers had some interesting treats to try. Even the fruits and vegetable stores had different things that look interesting.  I really enjoyed myself.

We walked back to the apartment to watch movies and sleep. Spencer and Hunter were starting to act out so we called it a night early. I think its a combination of being tired and maybe a bit scared again because we packed. Yes we say we are going home but it is another change for them and they mentally have to adjust back more so for Spencer then Hunter. Hunter is excited and Elliana wants to have a picnic in our backyard. I am excited because this is hopefully the last night I sleep on a couch. My back is not liking this at all.

Wish is luck as we drive across from Canada to US, let us hope nothing goes wrong. If it does Dad you will get a phone call from me saying "I am in some boarder crossing holding house come get us out!!" :)

Such a cutie!

US Embassy Visit

The kids are getting better and better with sleeping. Only had been woke up once for all three kids.  I felt great today with all the sleep I got!  The kids received more sleep but they did not behavior any better, sadly. 

We let them sleep in this morning so they received 10 to 11 hours of sleep! We went down stairs and Zinta was waiting to pick us up. We went to the US Embassy. The boys of course were acting out really bad. Even Elliana did not want to listen. They had us check in and wait for 30 minutes. It felt like hours. You are in a large room with chairs and a guard. The kids were bored so we had them race back and forth in this one 20 foot strip. Well that did not last long. Hunter and Spencer started to get into big trouble playing with the metal detector then attempting to touch any computer they could find...ARGGG. They were also yelling non stop. We finally were called and had to go into a small room. You talk to the Embassy worker through a intercom and they sit behind a bullet proof glass. With the boys making so much noise she had to keep repeating herself. Jeff finally threatened them with no movie and that finally shut the boys up for 10 minutes which was enough time to complete the business at hand. 

We asked the question of how do we cross the boarder into American by means of driving from Canada. She looked at us and said "I have never heard of anyone doing that before."  She said that she does not see why it can't be done, just that it has not been done. I started to freak out a bit. We also received instructions on exactly what needs to happen at the US Boarder. So there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be handed to a immigration officer. I don't know what is in the paperwork for it is sealed and we are not allowed to open it. If we do then the deal is off. The immigrations stop will be around 2 hours possibly longer because US Immigration officers boarding Canada are probably not used to dealing with this type of situation. The kids after the immigration officers signs/stamps off will automatically become US citizens. We get social security numbers 2 to 3 months later, that is due to a backlog. Surprise...surprise

Normally it takes them another day to complete the paperwork however, they finished our paperwork for the kids today (same day)! When Zinta dropped off the paperwork with the new Latvian passports for the kids I started to get all teary eyed. The kids are finally legally ours!! There is no way Latvia or American can cancel this adoption it is final. I started to cry then Zinta started to cry. Jeff just stood there looking at me. He was happy but he really doesn't show the emotion of crying.

Afterwards, we meet with another family adopting a younger brother to their already adopted two older siblings. We went to eat at Lido's, feed the ducks, then back to our place to watch a movie and ice cream. Our three were getting tired so we put them to bed right after the movie. They keep asking when we can go home. Hunter is now asking for the pet fish we talked about getting. He also asked for American Mommy food. Elliana wants her picnic outside. Spencer wants the airplane ride and swimming.

Since our documents got done today we are free again tomorrow to do what we want. Jeff and I have not fully decided what to do yet.

A Day Off

Last night was better then the night before.  Elliana only cried about 3 times and Hunter only woke up twice. I did end up sleeping with Elliana but she fell asleep when I was laying next to her. I did not complain too much because it did get me off the couch.  Later today we did ask Elliana why she was crying and could not sleep. Today she told us it was bad dreams. Yesterday she was scared about being back here in Latvia. I hope after today she will be more comfortable. She has been crying a lot more during the day then normal and she always wants kisses and keeps saying I love you to us. Even Jeff is getting showered with Elliana attention. I wish I could say we were really happy about it but we know it is coming because of insecurity. We are kissing her and hugging her back. There are times when we are checking out of a grocery store where she does have to wait and she does not like to wait for a kiss at all. It leads to crying. We are working on building that solid bridge back up. Jeff says it is like we took a step back with them.

Today since we had a day off we became Tourist of Latvia. Now if you know me well I can sometimes be very sentimental. Latvia has a locking bridge in Bastejkalns Park. I purchased a lock back home and engraved it with "Holub, family promise".  I found a very unusual lock and put it on top of it. We made the promise to always be a family through thick and thin. The kids did not understand but Jeff and I did. I think it would be cool when we take the kids back 15 years from now that we try to find this lock.  If you are ever in Latvia this park was breath taking. WOW. The flowers, bridges, benches, status, layout, waterfalls, and even the side streams were amazing.

I also really wanted to take a boat ride on the Daugava River which run through this park. When we asked the price the lady told us that our kids were free. Spencer loves anything that moves and it did really boost his spirits up. I think the other two became bored on the boat ride. We ended up with another couple from England. Jeff and I enjoyed the political conversation. 

Since it was only lunch time when we finished this and the kids were misbehaving some but not too much. We decided to go to Jurmala beach. We wanted to take the kids there since they are very well known beaches and we don't know when we will come back. We were told of this pizza place called Red Bus right by the beach. The pizza there was very good and a fair price. Jeff and I really liked it a lot. The kids keep saying they want American food. It cracks me up. When we first picked up the kids they loved the food I fixed here in Latvia because it was better then what they had before. Then we get to America and they went crazy for the food we fix. Now that we are back and I don't have all my spices or tools they don't want to eat.  I even packed pancake mix but I did not pack nutmeg or cinnamon or vanilla extract so the pancakes are just OK for them.

So playing tourist in Latvia we had to visit the Baltic beaches.  The beach was so much fun for these guys. We were there for five to six hours. You could walk 80 feet out and still be only 2 - 3 feet deep. That was perfect for them since they can't swim yet. There was no crying or whining or bad behavior while we were there. It was a complete melt down when we left but it was a nice time there. Lots of people are on the beach but since you could walk so far out it was not too crowded in the water. I just had to keep in mind I was on a European Beach, there were several times I thought more material or material period is needed.  Hunter wanted me to build him a dinosaur out of the sand. I told him I was really good at lopsided soccer balls. He did not go for that at all. So I did do a dinosaur. I was happy that it looked like one too.  The boys wanted to be buried in the sand. It was so funny.  Elliana wanted nothing to do with the sand. She wanted to only be in the water. That girl loves water.

The kids did have a lot of fun today. They did keep saying that they did as well. They do all miss home their dogs, grandparents, and church. They keep singing only two lines of "Our god is a great big god." I need to learn the dance to that song. Elliana wants me to show her but I only know what she knows. HA.

Oh almost forgot. Spencer lost his second tooth today! He was really proud of it. He pulled it out and not Hunter this time.  PS the ice cream here is still amazing!!!

Post Travel / Travel

We told the kids we were going back to Latvia about a month ago. They all took it well at first. Then this past week they all freaked out differently about the trip. Spencer has been taken it the hardest or at least from the outside. He will grab me, scream, jump, yell, and thrash around. Sometimes I have to pin him down so he does not hurt himself or me. He started by only doing that with the five of us then he started to do it public. I told the daycare if they have issues they can call us. They only had issues with Spencer the last two days before the trip. He started not wanting to listen to anyone and just stand in the corner. We kept telling him that he was coming home but he is right at the age where he just does not understand.  Hunter was just clinging more to us then normal. Elliana, I originally thought was taking it really well. We talked about it. She wanted to see this one friend but she did not know the girls last name. I was not sure where the girl came from so we were not able to make a connection. We talked about the girl and Elliana said she was nervous but we kept talking. Only when we were days away did she start to cry about it. She was scared she would not be coming back. I told her over and over again but she just kept on crying. I finally ended up holding her and one night I slept with her. I honestly wish we did not have to take the kids back. Being 7, 6, and 5 they don't understand and they really are stressing out about it.

My father came up with an idea to have the kids bring back pressed flowers so they would know they are coming back home.  I did help calm Elliana down a few times. I brought some wax paper with us so we can press the flowers.

Travel...
Well we decided to drive to Toronto and fly over to Latvia by means of Canada. No one in our agency has done that before. I also reached out on the two support groups and no one has done that either. In fact some people said they found cheaper flights but decided not to.  We are saving over $2,000 by flying in and out of Canada so we are going to find out how easy it is to get back in the Country or we will be living on the border until we figure it out.

Well the drive was long to Toronto but no delays with the flight. Hunter slept the most with about 2 hours. Elliana had close to that. Spencer did not sleep at all. He really liked to watch out the window the entire time. The flight went surprisingly smooth.  One big thing that made it easier was that the kids now understand English better and could pay attention to the movies they had.  The only issue we had was the fact our luggage did not show up. Jeff and I are light packers so the fact that one of three pieces of luggage was lost was horrible especially being the one with all our clothes, 110V to 220V converter for plugging in the cell phones, computer etc. We had packed a change of clothes in one of the carry-on so that helped the first night and of course we carry all our important documents. However, I was so worried about a change of clothes for the kids and Jeff, I did not pack myself a change of clothes. Luckily the luggage showed up late the following day (today), I was starting smell ripe. For Spencer he was jumping up and down not because he got his favorite car shirts back but because we can now make pancakes (we had packed some Hungry Jack pancake mix in the lost luggage).

We are staying in the same Riga Apartments. We just got a different smaller one to stay in. We asked for three cots for the kids to sleep and ended up with a pack - n - play and a bed. So Jeff and I took the couch and put the kids in the bed. That lasted only about a hour. Elliana was scared and wanted me and cried and cried. Hunter could not sleep and wanted only to be held. Spencer was the only one who actually slept and it was 12 hours. I really hope the kids are better tonight.

Doctor...
Today we had to visit the U.S. Embassy doctor. It went really well. They checked how the kids were progressing. We did have to do a urine test. So make sure if you are adopting that you don't have the kids to go to the bathroom before the visit. It was very interesting trying to help the kids go to a bathroom in a cup. It was not an experience I really want to do again. However, in the end all kids passed.  We also stopped by the passport place to get updated pass ports.

Tomorrow we have the day free. Hoping that the kids will be more stable we are going to try the beach. Tonight has been hard so maybe tomorrow they will be better.