America "Labi"

I can't explain how happy it is to have these kids. We have waited a very long time and now they are here. These kids are better then what I imagined. The hugs are real. The kiss are real. The random smiles are real.  I sometimes wonder what makes me so special that these three are so happy to be taken away from all they know and are now here with me. It is not all sunshine and roses but it is in the small moments that makes everything worth it. I hold onto those moments and get me through everything else.

We are still adjusting to our schedules. There has been some changing around but we will start to get into a different schedule soon. Jeff and I are now back to work full time. Our jobs have left us plenty of work to come back to. HA. Work is a different kind of stress then watching children.  So currently I don't think one side is draining me from the other. Well maybe the lack of sleep is hurting my work, I am not thinking as quickly as I normally do. I should be getting more sleep soon.  I'm looking forwards to that.

We did take the kids to the dentist.  Hunter is by far the worst. Elliana and Spencer were fine. Those two had no damage and nothing currently needs to be done until adult teeth start to come in. They have weak teeth and spots due to lack of nourishment and high iron in Latvia's water system. Otherwise they are perfect. Then there is Hunter my cuddly little guy. He has 12 teeth in his top half of his mouth. Of these 12, 4 need to be pulled to stop infections. They are dead and nothing but trouble will happen with them. So that leave us with his remaining 8 teeth, 3 need either root canals or have to be pulled. Another one needs to be drilled and filled.  If we pull those 3 baby teeth he will have 5 teeth in his mouth.  That means he can't eat his food. He will have to be on a soft food diet until his adult teeth come in.  We are thinking we should do the root canals.  We are trying to get dental insurance first. We also have to ask Latvia if it is ok to do this type of procedure.  So we are currently on hold. We are brushing his teeth a lot more.

The kids really like to be home. Elliana the other day said America Labi, Latvia neigh. That means American is good and Latvia is not. It made me feel like we were doing something right. We also got the kids to dance! We have been trying for a while and normally Jeff and I look like silly people while our kid stare at us like we are crazy. Ha. But not this last time. They all were jumping around and looking just as silly. They also have a crazy addition to the Disney movie "Mulan."  We have watched that movie over 12 times.  The kids are all speaking more English even our quiet one Elliana who informed us that "It is cold outside" after coming in from the snow.

We still go on walks occasionally but now we bring along a wagon to help save our shoulders and backs if one of the kids get tired.  Spencer is our official wagon puller most of the time.  That is until he tries to run us over with it.  Elliana holds on very tightly if she is riding in the wagon while Spencer is pulling.  

Adjusting all over again

We have been told that we might have to relive some of our earlier adjustment stage. I never wanted to believe it but it is true. If you are adopting be prepared to go almost back to square one when you get home. The only bonus is the kids know you and know what to expect from you.  The stages are shorter but they do mentally go back. The house is new and the people are new. Spencer went back to rocking as his self soothing however, I did not see him do it today. Today he also started giving me smiles again when he would walk in a room. Or just look over at me to make sure I am there. It was good to see those smiles again.  The kids are all sleeping a ton, 12 to 13 hours! Over half the day they are asleep. That was how it started in Latvia as well. What makes it all worth it are all the small things. For example, Spencer wanted me to keep singing him lullaby's tonight. I am not a good signer but he smiles and it calms him.  Elliana when I was sitting on the couch got up from the chair came over and gave me a huge hug with a ear to ear smile.  Hunter just melts your heart when he cuddles with you in the morning. Not sure if we will get that until the weekends but it is my favorite time with him. I stay in bed now waiting to hear for signs that he is awake. Then I wait for him to come into the room and jump in bed with me. He will kiss me and wrap his arms around me half awake. I love it!

I also think that the adjustment was harder because we did not plan as well as we did in Latvia. We are home yes but our normal daily functions are not in place. The schedule will not even be set for another two weeks. We are going to do an educational day care for two days a week. So M-F Jeff and I work. Wednesday and Thursday they will go to day care staring in two weeks. Sunday we have church. We do want to start bible study but think we should wait until they know more English. I did find one really good summer school program but if anyone knows of others please let me know. I am looking for a place to build onto what they know of the ABC and numbers.

Tomorrow will be a traumatic day for them. Jeff and I both go back to work. I am doing a 1/2 day at work and then work when the kids go to bed at night. No sleep for me but the kids might not handle a full day away from us. They only have been away from us both for 2 hours.  Tuesday will be 3/4 of a full work day because we have dentist appointments. We don't have insurance but I am worried about Hunters teeth. If we need to pull some of the teeth or get some surgeries, I want to start before any adult teeth start to fall into place. Not sure how much I have previously written about his teeth but in the front there are some spots where you can see a tooth ring that is gray. There is no tooth just like a nub of one. There is one hole that really bothers me because I think it is a root showing this is the case for the front top four. None of the kids can handle cold or hot food but I really wonder if any of it hurts him.

Life at Home

The kids are doing better then I thought they would be doing. They are back to sleeping over 10 hours a night but I believe that is due to the extra stress of a new place. In Latvia for the first few weeks the kids slept a lot but the last week they were down to 9 hours. So hopefully in a few weeks that will be the case here too.  Also hope in a few weeks the new boundary testing comes to an end. It is like our week one all over again. The only improvement is we just have to count to 1 and they know what happens when we reach 3, "time in."

For three kids who have never been around dogs, they do very well.  They love the dogs. Not sure if the dogs love them, they (the dogs) keep giving us this "what are things things doing here" look HA!

We took them to the local fire department playground, Cleveland's Aquarium, and our backyard. There is a lot of new sights to see and things to learn.  Hunter already did a nice face plant at the park and his face is full of cuts. He also somehow has a nasty looking welt on his butt. It appeared Tuesday. We have no idea where he got it. Looks like he jumped butt first on a match box car.

We had one major language failure this week.  We had the kids outside and we were telling them not to set in the dog's poop.  We were explaining that the dogs go to the bathroom outside.  Well a few moments later Hunter pulls his pants down and poops in the yard.  AAHHHH! He thought he was to go to the bathroom outside.  Bathrooms have been a big change for these kids. When they left the foster we had to teach them to flush after going to the bathroom.  In Latvia toilet paper was not always allowed in the toilet. So now we are home we flush, toilet paper in toilet, and the toilet itself is different. So I can see how he was confused but still I hope my neighbors did not see this.

Today we had our first American Doctor visit.  The kids ended up with 3 shots each. Hunter screamed and cried. Spencer and Elliana did not even move a muscle. We were very proud of them. The doctor wants all three to have their hearts tested. Two of them he feels may have a minor issue.  So they all get a echo gram done in a week. Spencer needs blood work to see if there was any lasting affects from his hard childhood. He would just need medication if there is a lasting deficiency. Elliana is signed up for physical Therapy. That makes me very happy!! We need someone to keep working on her legs. I have been doing some but we need muscle building and I am not sure how to do it. If we put her legs in the correct position she cannot walk because she can't carry her weight on her right leg at all. But if she walks with her feet turned in she can. She just need to build up the correct muscles. I have started working with her and she has no issues doing it until she falls.

They have not had any major issues with the food change. They loved their grandma's chicken noodle soup.  They really like my favorite comfort meal, cream of chicken on rice. Today we gave them green beans and carrots with a dip for lunch. They also had a PBJ sandwich.  The did not eat the sandwich but had thirds and fourths on the veggies. Jeff and I almost made them eat the sandwich by holding back the green beans but thought better of it. Our kids love certain veggies and just about all fruit.

Breaking News:  Elliana this morning kept saying a word to me but I had no idea what it was. Finally at our veggie lunch she pointed to her teeth. I went over and we have our first loose tooth!! She was saying it hurt her. We made a huge deal about it and then she got excited about it. I am tonight working on turning my ring-bearer pillow into a tooth fairy pillow. I got some charms to spell out her name. Tomorrow we will go pick out some fabric to make the pocket. None of our kids have lost a tooth before.  It is not uncommon for orphans to hang onto their baby teeth longer. Since we have been giving her calcium and healthy food her body will start to grow and thrive again.

Travelling Home Part 2

So we fly over to Germany and got onto our next plane with no issues. This was our longest plane ride. The kids did way better then I thought they would.  Don't get me wrong there were times that they had it but overall they did well.  Hunter had the hardest issue being 4 years old.  He screamed for about 30 minuets and cried for another solid hour.  The flight agent gave me a entire stock of gummy bear bags. I think he ate about 8 small bags worth. It kept his quiet and everyone could relax without him crying.  We did do walks about the plane until an flight crew member told me to stop. So we did the stairs up and down to the lower level of the plane.  There was nothing down there besides toilets. At first he thought I would bring him down there to use it so we went about 3 times before he got the idea.

We land in JFK airport and had to go out to grab a taxi or shuttle to LaGuardia airport.  United told us that they have their own shuttle and it will be at no cost. Well that was a lie. They also said our luggage would transfer, another lie.  We ended up taking a shuttle because the taxi lady said 5 people was too many.  We waited for the shuttle for about 30 minutes in low 40ish degree weather. The kids were getting tired at this point and in Latvian time it was there bed time. We get on the shuttle and head to the next airport.  Once at LaGuardia and the guy behind the counter said our flight to Cleveland has been cancelled due to bad weather.  It was low 40s and sunshine in NY.  We called another United agent and our adoption agency.  The only way to get us home that night was for us to go to Newark in NJ.  The kids were laying on the ground around us trying to sleep and a United person came up and said kids can't lay down they have to stand.  Well Momma bear came out.  Our kids should not even be here we should be home or on a plane by now.  I did not say a lot but the guy left me alone and looked back one time and disappeared behind  closed door.

We got a taxi to Newark. We were not following the car safety rules but we did to have a lot of time to catch the 9:25pm plane home.  After a $152 cab ride we get the airport. At this point our kids were done. They could not move. When we got to boarding our plane they started to cling to the chairs. I got Elliana off and she started walking away from us. Now she did look like she was sleep walking.  A person on our same plane offered to carry our bags. I had to take that offer. The kids would not let go of the seat. Jeff carried the boys on and I carried Elliana. We get on the plane and wait.  We waited about 30 minuets for some people to board that had a late connection flight.  We finally start to push away and then we stopped again. apparently the tow bar they use for pushing aircraft away from the gate broke in half and now they have to bring a mechanic out to make sure nothing on the plane broke during the accident.  I was getting upset along with several other people on the plane. Well they did their job and cleared us to take off this set back our flight by 1 hour and 30 minuets. Jeff was going to rip someone apart. This was just too much for the kids.  They needed beds.

Finally we land in Cleveland. I have never been so happy. I used my belt to tie all their backpacks together so we were ready for 3 melt downs.  My father was there to pick us up.  What a beautiful feeling being home after such a terrible trip back home.

Lighting Strikes Twice

So Jeff and I slept about 2 hours Friday night packing and getting everything ready to come home.  We get the kids up at 3am and head to the airport. The kids got up really well. Elliana was really happy to go to America. We get the airport and the lady said the kids are all set but someone has cancelled Jeff and my flight to Germany. We were all set after Germany we just had to get there.  They said the kids could go on but we said we travel together.  So that started calls to United, Adoption Airfare, and home at $2.50 a minute.  I was getting very upset. So the plane left and we were not on it.  If you remember our initial flight to Riga was canceled due to weather and when United rebooked our flights they did not book the return flight properly. The flight out was completely full and they were not taking any more stand-by.  To make a 3 hour frustrating story short, we spoke with the first poorly trained United Air representative, and we were conveniently disconnected after they tried to blame Lufthansa for the problem.  Our next rep who was appeared to be a bit better trained attempted to get us on the flight before it took off well again we were conveniently disconnected.  The third poorly trained rep told us that the whole thing is our fault and that we missed the flight so we have to pay for all new flights.  The reason why we were told this is that the previous rep got us on that flight some how 10 minutes before it took off.  Keeping in mind we still have not even been given tickets or checked baggage and we still had to go through security.  Lufthansa basically told United to go fly a kite because that was too little too late and they were not holding a international flight for two people.  Keep in mind that United Airlines does not allow their reps to give out direct numbers for any particular representative so every disconnect we got we had to re-explain our entire story to a new person    

So knowing we were not flying out that day and there was nothing more we could do at the airport we called and got a hotel so the kids could go to bed.  That freaked out Elliana. She kept saying something over and over again. She started screaming and kicking and everything she could do to say she was mad. Well our Latvian phone was in our suitcase and we could not get to it. So we could not call our translator until we got to the hotel. 

Jeff and I were also extremely frustrated. We called the translator once we get into the hotel room. Found out that Elliana thought we were not taking her home with us and that we were returning her.  That put me over the edge. She was so upset. So we hugged her and told her we loved her. She did clam down but she was so upset for hours before we could get someone to explain the problem to her.  This made Jeff and I feel horrible on top of mad and upset. I put the kids and Jeff to bed. I go out into the hallway and talk with United for a few more hours. I finished got us all on the plane and called my Dad so he would not be waiting for us at the airport. My emotions were so high then when I talked to him I cried. I have not cried in years. I just wanted to get my family home. Also, to think Elliana thought we were taking her back! I have not cried in years but I could not take any more.

So we tried to waste time in Latvia. We did go back to our favorite restaurant just to cheer us up. I did have a great meal at the Flying Frog.  We found a better park that the kids played at. I was about to crash at the play area. I only had 2 hours of sleep an emotional rollercoaster and I could not stand up. Jeff said he would watch the kids while I go back and sleep.  I have a great husband. I got 2 more hours of sleep.

That night we packed and woke everyone up at 3am Sunday morning again and loaded up in a taxi to the airport.  The kids were doing great. We get in line and the same Lufthansa lady from yesterday came up and said Jeff and I are good but the kids flights are not there.  They were considered a “no show”, due to yesterday.  I freaked. I wanted to cry all over again. Jeff wanted to punch someone and the kids started to cry again.  So I took two long breaths told myself “you better pull it together.” I called United again. We also called our agency we booked with. United made another mistake.  So with our booking agency on one phone and a United Rep (5th person from United in two days) on our second cell phone we put both phones on speaker so that those two could finally get this mess straight.   With less than an hour to spare and me getting my extremely forceful business side out, we got three more tickets for the kids and all boarded the same flight home. I did however say to my husband  “If this happened in American I could handle it better than I could being in another country.”  Well later that day I ate my words due to yet another United Airlines fowl up.

To be continued.. (I am tired and have to sleep, I have a total of 11 hours for 3 nights)

P.S. to answers some people's questions. I will be blogging about how the kids are adjusting while in America. It just may not be every day at least one a week. 

Doctor and last day

Well today Jeff and I really wanted to sleep in. We were up late packing.  When you have kids you really don't have an option. So getting up early it was...thanks Hunter.  

I was going to take the boys to the park. I let them go down the steps on their own. Well the last two flights Hunter just took off running and out the doors and into Riga's busy streets. I flew after him. He went back upstairs and in "Time In".  I think he got the point today. I learned the phrase "no running away" in Latvian from our translator. Well I was just going to take Spencer but plans chance. Elliana wanted to go and Hunter finished his punishment. Jeff however still needed to shower.  I needed to see how I could handle three kids on my own. I needed to build my self confidence. So of course if you know me how else would I do it. Yep the hard way. So three kids, in busy Riga downtown, after one just ran away, language barrier, and 5 blocks.  It was amazing how strategically we performed the walk from placement of the kids holding hands to which side of the street and which side of the walk way we used. Can't walk on that side of the block or Hunter might just jump on a glass window covering a basement window.  Boys can't hold hands or there will be trouble. Elliana has to hold my hand or she will stop walking.  Hunter has to hold my hand in fear he will run away.  We did survive and I now have the self confidence I needed.  Jeff however was worried so he took a record shower and he caught up to us just a few minuets after we arrived at the park.  I had everything going smoothly  :)

We had our appointment with the doctor today.  It went really well. The doctor was amazed at how strong Elliana left hand has gotten in just 4 weeks. We are not up to 100% maybe around 70% but we started around 20%. We showed the doctor that she can put on her coat and zip it up. I told her what we are doing. I make up the exercises every night just to try something. I need to research more on what we need to do. The doctor was so happy with the results. She also talked about the surgery she needed.  We did not learn anything new about Hunter.  We did learn that Spencer's upper lip inside gum may need to be cut back a bit so he can speak more clear. I never noticed that he was not speak well as we don't know proper pronunciation of Latvian.  So really nothing note worthy which i guess is a good thing. The doctor hugged me and said she was very happy the kids were placed with us. It made my confidence get even higher.  I do hope we are doing what is best for the kids.

The kids did the alphabet when they got home.  Elliana did the best ever.  We write words down and make her copy them as well. She is starting to write in a line better. Spencer did well. We had an issue over the letter "U" which he never had before. He also did not act like he was concentrating. Hunter did the worst yet and we never got past D, instead he decided to protest and stabbed his pencil into the couch.  I'm just happy he didn't stick it in his leg.

For dinner we had pasta and ice cream.  When we finished dinner I wiped the boys mouths and they always fight me a bit on it. So I took Spencer to the mirror. His eyes got huge. It was so funny.  He let me wipe his mouth while he watched in the mirror.

The kids keep talking about flying home tomorrow. I can't wait.  I miss my family, friends, dryer, bed, oven, and spices.  Washing clothes and having to hang dry is no fun. The wash cycle is 3-4 hours and the clothes all smell.  I really don't like that musty dirty smell but that is what we all smell like. When we go out I joke we are the smelly family.

The family we ran into yesterday sent us a video of the Latvian President meeting some orphans.  The video has our kids in it! The president at one point is holding Elliana. The tall man in the picture below is the president and he is holding a young Elliana.  Spencer is being held by our foster mom, mother she is the second on the right. We are not sure but that maybe Hunter being held by their foster mom on the far left.  The lady in the long jacket is someone high in the government as well or she maybe the president wife. We are not sure.  How cool is that!!!

Question: Does anyone know how to teach younger child about logic? They do lack in this area. The doctor said that is common but you just have to teach it to them. I don't know how.

US Embassy

We got the kids passports today. We showed them and they thought they were pretty cool. We also started to pack the stuff we are not going to be using. I wish I had not done that. It had Spencer all freaked out. He wanted to pack everything thinking we would leave stuff behind. He was a mess all day long  He kept acting out just because he was confused.  Elliana asked me if there were noodles in America because she likes spaghetti.  That started a whole line of questions. Are there parks, cars, bananas, and bath tubs.  I learned really quick what the kids value. :) I tried to tell them about America. Elliana understood that we have bigger parks near our house and then told the boys. That made them happy.

We had our US Embassy appointment today. Again it was not very hard at all for us. We were asked about homeschooling, visas, health insurance, and basic questions.  We only talked to the lady for 10 minutes and the kids were approved. We took longer getting through security.  My belt set off the alarms. I need that belt. I would not say losing weight because I know I gained some muscle.

On our way back to the apartment our translator had to drop off some documents to another couple. When we got there Elliana started talking to their adopted girl.  The other girl was not at the same foster place but our foster mom, mother's place. She used to watch our kids a lot. Interesting as she was only 10.  However, the girl could not communicate with Elliana anymore because she no longer knows Latvian. She went to the US only 5 months ago. Kids do learn languages quick and sadly forget them just as quickly.

We went back to the apartment and worked on the alphabet. Hunter did about 50% of the letter all by himself. That was the best ever!!!  The kids really do better one on one with learning. If they are together someone ends up crying.

We had our other appointment today. We did not get all the answers we were looking for. However the kids seem to just be learning how to be kids again. They will catch up quickly but currently they are emotionally set back a few years. So we have to treat them as if they younger until they start to catch up. The lady was impressed with how fast they have matured in just 4 weeks. She did watch Spencer and said he was doing typical stuff that a kid from an orphanage does. With some love and patients our kids will be new kids in 6 month to a year.  No problem we can do that. Honestly the kids are really sweet kids. They just are learning and exploring new things. If you have never seen a object before you don't know what to do with it.  However for them 70% of what they see is new for them. So they don't yet understand how everything works or what you should do with it or if it is dangerous. It just takes time. To help out with them we will look at the bonding center. Tonight I picked Spencer up and we stood in front of the mirror. So he saw his smiling face and mine. That made him laugh and smile more. It helps him understand he is happy when he sees himself happy. She said a lot of things that we have already heard before but it was nice to hear them again. We just have to be patient and it will all come together. The "time in" discipline we currently are implementing we feel is the right method for them same with how we solve throwing things. She really liked that one. She also like the role playing of how to do things and how not to do things. We had Elliana slam a door and say ok that is what you do not do. Now do it correctly.  That honestly got the message across and she has not slammed a door since.

We took this picture today, we felt we had best start breaking them into proper tradition. O - H - I - O